Saturday, 21 November 2015

Sad Times

2015 has been a hard year for me... and I'm thankful that it is coming to an end... between much loved family members being incredibly sick to loosing Grandparents its safe to say that we have been through a lot.. the light at the end of the year was that I fell pregnant... something that I had been wanting for a long time.. I finally thought my year had changed only to have that change in an instant... 1 in 4 women will have a miscarriage and its incredibly sad to say that I am one... after some time off work and working through the grieving process I am coping better than I was... but there are a few things that have helped... two of the girls I work with were incredibly generous and gave me gifts to help me and I have to admit that both have helped me more than I thought they would

the first was this beautiful angel

which my hubby helped me hang above our bed and since doing that I have slept more soundly through the night and stopped waking at 5am to just lie there waiting to get up

the second was a bear of hope

which has given me something sweet to cuddle when I needed it and sits on our shelf above our bed to also watch over me as I sleep... you can follow the link above to the website, I found it reassuring while giving me accurate information at the same time as well as not feeling so alone

the other thing I did was I bought flowers and planted them in my front garden as a permanent reminder when ever I walk past

 and I'm excited that they look like they are going to flower soon

I also bought an angel to hang on my Christmas tree (yes I have already put it up but its another thing to help me feel better)

the last thing I found was something that popped up while I was mindlessly looking on the internet and I thought of all times for it to pop up was now... its a statue and I thought it exactly pictured how I felt about having a miscarriage

we did joke that Cadbury was my emotional companion animal while I was off work but I think she made a huge difference in me not feeling alone

With 41 days left of this year my hope is that next year will be filled with more happy memories than sad ones and who knows what it will bring :)

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